“How was he so mentally tough?” 

This is a question we get asked often at events about Mat Fraser.

People ask us about Mat’s grit, how to be mentally stronger, and for tips and tricks to do so. Ultimately, what I believe they are recognizing is that they have room to grow in their own mental toughness. I believe these people see the results of Mat’s career or others that have been successful, and they know it has some part to do with what was between the ears, and they want to know how to have the same.

It’s hard to define qualities like “mental toughness,” but generally speaking, you know it when you see it. When people bring mental toughness into the conversation, I usually believe they are trying to describe a quality synonymous with discipline, commitment, and daringness. If this is true, then Mat definitely embodied this in his career. How?

I could never explain Mat’s toughness

From the outside in, I could never explain Mat’s toughness or his success as well as he could. However, I have been fortunate enough to spend many hours across broadly different situations with Mat, and in my opinion, one of Mat's defining features is his authenticity. In the best of ways, to spend time with Mat is to spend time with someone who gives the sense that they aren’t trying to be anyone other than themself. 

For me, it’s been refreshing. I believe this authenticity leads to a sense of self for Mat that makes it clear to him and to others what his goals are in any given situation. Put simply, Mat knows what he wants in life, and this seems like it was especially true when he competed in CrossFit®. He wanted to win, he had his own whys for wanting this, and those whys were clearly very important to him. After all, a powerful “why” can get anybody to put themself through some very difficult situations.

I think it is possible to grow mentally tougher like many have seen Mat to be, but it requires some crucial steps of reflection first.

I believe that for you to be mentally tough, you should have a strong reason to need to be so. To have a reason that feels “strong” to you, you must understand what motivates you and what is important to you. To understand what motivates you and is important to you, you need to understand yourself. As far as I can tell, Mat crushed this concept in his athletic career. 

So, if you are looking to be mentally tougher, I would argue that you need to first be seeking to understand yourself, your values, and your motivations better. 

Difficult experiences teach us about ourselves, and that is why in some ways, doing hard things consistently over time or being in hard situations helps us grow to be mentally tougher. Being pushed to your limits physically or mentally can help you learn a lot about who you are, but this is not always the only way to learn. We also grow to understand ourselves more through training, journaling, conversations with loved ones, time alone, therapy…the list goes on. If you are trying to be mentally tougher, it is important to identify multiple avenues of self-discovery that work for you and then do these consistently. This can be a lifelong process, as we are all constantly changing and growing. Who you are and what works for you at this moment in your life may be totally different in time, and that is normal.

Mental toughness can help you

It can help you get the most out of training routines and competitive scenarios alike in the form of results and fulfilment. My life has shown me that it is easy to be proud of myself when I know I am tough, and it takes a certain toughness to achieve great outcomes.

To be mentally tough is to have a strong resolve to continue and an ability to stay true to yourself and what you want when the pressure is on. When you venture to know yourself better, not only can you become more resilient, but you also can become more authentic. In my experience, people who are more authentic often appear to have an easy time finding and accepting help as they chase their goals, and often, these people also seem more content in their efforts throughout this process and once those goals are achieved. Being true to yourself can play a vital role in your success in any pursuit. 

Knowing yourself well is at the center of what can push you to go outside of your comfort zone, to grow, and ultimately, to push through situations that otherwise can seem daunting to you. People like Mat have done this well in their lives, but I am of the belief that many more can do the same. If you are looking to achieve a lofty goal, then you will likely need to be mentally tough and to be mentally tough, you will likely need to take measures to constantly be looking inward. 

If the idea is to always show up, work hard, and make yourself proud in all areas of your life, then be sure to apply this mentality to your relationship with yourself, just as you would in your physical training  —this is the master key to growth in mental toughness.